terabient | hey guise this is the cutest icon ever amirite?

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WOW. brutal week, but the difficult part is finished. Saturday is a ~day off and if the weather is still nice it's BIKE RIDING and DOG WALKING and TOO MUCH SODA for me! (i am lifting my soda ban temporarily because it's been that kind of week.)

ANYWAY

i am feeling like a QUESTION WAR today! i did one like a bajillion years ago and now feels like a good time to recycle it.

THE RULES:

Ask me a question in the comments
I will answer said question and reply with a question just for you!
You answer, and then we repeat steps 1 & 2 until the end of time or we get bored or whatever

Questions can be fannish or personal or weird or whatever, ANYTHING GOES

~~first one to stop loses~~

ETA: i just saw this and wanted to do it OKAY

The "What I've always wanted to tell you" Meme

aaaaaand now this shit's goin' public

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: deathsmiles

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

IKR IT MAKES ME LKGJASKDLGA

even in 'fandom safe' spaces like nerd anime cons and the like, i'd rather not talk about them even if everyone else is. i'm just like, NO NEVER WHAT IS THIS SLASH YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

AHAHAHAHA ME TOO. that is for internet & behind closed doors, ok. NO ONE MUST OVERHEAR. this one girl used to talk about "shipping" in the car with my parents & it was horrible forever.

ok so to answer your question: YES. the worst was when i was a teenager and my family & my aunt + her 3 kids moved into the same big house with us and they all had some form of transantlantic divorce/re-emigration culture shock PTSD and were thereby TERRIBLE TO LIVE WITH. it was terrible the whole time & only got marginally better after my parents told my aunt that i "knew she hated me" and she cried and cried and came into my room crying & apologizing, because after all i am named after her so maybe she didn't want to have things be that way between us, etc. BEFORE that it got much worse because kelly, my younger cousin who was like the middle child and had serious middle child issues, apparently learned my screen name from her brother and did a search for me on the livejournal. ofc this was my first LJ and i was young and had a semi-miserable home life so the journal was full of unlocked bitching and moaning. FIRST she announced my email address at the dinner table, and i was like, how do you even know that, THEN she announced my URL and i nearly killed her. THEN she emailed me a wahhmbulance complaint about the content. these things have colored literally every interaction we have had for the past ten years, ahahaha. to the point that my mom was "proud of me" when i was "so nice" to her before we left pennsylvania (and i was like "mom i am nearly 20" but w/e). i think i kind of gave her a complex because i was bff!cousins with her brother when we were growing up and her little sister adored me but i never really liked her much, so all that just made the whole thing explode into eternal awkwardness, no matter how much i try to pretend that her current half-interest in me is not totally out of the blue and that we are cousin!friends. (she told me to come visit her and i was like LOLWAT oh right ok mb.) so yeah that was the worst and had the most far-reaching consequences!

TL;DR

SEEING AS I WILL BE FOLLOWING YOU INTO 27-LAND 22 DAYS AFTER YOU ENTER: do you feel at all weird about your age ticking over from mid-twenties to late twenties? if not, has there been any specific birthday you felt weird about approaching?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE that sounds terrible :< it was one of my cousins who sent me an invite code to LJ in the first place but!!! i was always super-scared my parents or aunts or uncles would somehow discover me and my SERIOUS 16 YEAR OLD SEEKRITS and end my world.

and i used to be one of those people who would print out terrible fanfiction and read it in bed and my mom found some of it and it was pretty much the most embarrassing thing ever SO i don't do it anymore (also, it's now totally unnecessary with laptops and mobile phones and me not being a super big dope)

anyway! my mind doesn't really separate decades in into early-mid-late years, so i'm not particularly concerned with turning 27. i don't put much importance on birthdays in general so i can't point to one that i was anxious about beforehand - maybe my 22nd because my college graduation was the day before, but that's entirely because of said graduation, not because i was turning 22.

i will probably freak the fuck out when 30 rolls around, though, if only because of the tendency for the women in my family to develop horrific intestinal illnesses around that age. ~FUN!~

ok, question time: Is there anything you liked as a teenager that you are ashamed of now? And there can be no ironic enjoyment/rueful fondness, you must be legitimately upset/disgusted that you once enjoyed this thing.

OMFG I STARRED THIS IN MY INBOX & STILL MANAGED TO OVERLOOK IT LATER!! I will not lose this game.

Did they really have invite codes that early?? My memory is fuzzier than I thought.

Oh man my brain cannot help but separate things into distinct, almost spatial phases, even if the boundaries are in constant flux. It's probably just overcompensation for my ridiculously fluid sense of time; it's so unreal and untraceable to me that I'm always slightly terrified of it. But I was curious because for some reason everyone around me is having a belated quarter-life crisis and for once I don't feel weird at all about my birthday.

Bleah, intestinal problems are the worst. :(

Anywayyyyyy, shit, that is a difficult question. It's funny because there are some things I was ashamed of then that I'm not ashamed of now. Age has seriously diminished my capacity for shame in that regard, and everything I can think of has transformed into ironic/wistful nostalgia! There are plenty of things I did and said and thought that I'm ashamed of now,
but... ahahaha I think the sad thing is that a lot of what I liked then I still like in some form. I loved a lot of anime(s) that look a whole hell of a lot like animated versions of the dramas I watch now -- hell, I was in love with Hana Yori Dango when I was 15 and now my favorite Japanese drama is... Hana Yori Dango. :( I think part of it is that I really didn't have any interests as a little girl in the country except for playing ~make-believe~ and reading books and watching cartoons, and then I got these little buds of cultural exposure that burst open overnight and defined my interests for the next 12 years or so.

The only thing I'm borderline-ashamed of is my participation in

middle_earth, but even then... I dunno. That stupid fucking game is how I met a bunch of people I've now been friends with since the Earth was new, most notably Jae and my other beloved New England resident

bammel. It's equal parts open secret, giggly shame, and wistful nostalgia for all of us. (I did not write that wildly inaccurate epilogue, if you happen to click on the accursed thing, but the community is indeed my doing and I would very much like to shank the guy who did write it for using our real first names.)

QUESTION FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUU:

How well do you hold a grudge? Like, real, lasting grudges, not just temporary flare-ups where you were mad at someone for a while after a fight.