ZOMBIES AND ROBOTS (also: games that read like fanfic!)

[terabient]

so, the Discovery channel has a new show about THE END OF THE WORLD, 'The Colony':

http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/colony/colony.html

basically, it's a reality show about a bunch of people living in a post-doomsday world, where civilization as we know it has collapsed.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE MISSED THIS. "Surviving the [insert catastrophic global event here] apocalypse" is pretty much my favorite plot trope eeeeeeeever. the show doesn't specify what, exactly, caused the 'end of the world,' which is fantastic since i can watch with the assumption that the world has been destroyed by a) zombies or b) a robot uprising.

actually i'm hoping someone will make some kind of ambiguous statement that implies a zombie and/or robot apocalypse has happened: that would be A+ material.

***

and now for something completely different (no, seriously):

i FINALLY started using the Wii again (after months of letting it gather dust) after downloading FFIV: The After. FFIV:TA is a sequel to FFIV that was released on mobile phones in Japan, and it looked like it wasn't going to be released in any form in the States, but then Squeenix decided to make it available in installments on the Wii Marketplace.

...and oh god, it reads like bad fanfic. XD

it takes place 17 years after FFIV. because of this, we get bad fanfic trope #1: it's not about the characters you know and care about, it's about their infinitely more bland and boring children. Awesome.

some of the old characters are playing major roles, like Rydia and Edge. notably, they do not appear to have aged at all. i guess that 'accelerated growth in Summon Monster Land' bit only works until you hit a certain point, and then you freeze at an age of optimal hotness. pfffffft.

...did i mention that Rydia and Edge's relationship is exactly the same as it was in FFIV? 17 years: no forward movement whatsoever. there's nothing like watching 30somethings with a 17-year-long history acting like teenagers!

don't even get me started on Rosa. apparently, she exists in name only.

BLARGH.

anyway: what with the Wii out and all, i started playing Soulcalibur Legends again. i've had this game for aaaages, but it is remarkably unfun to play so i haven't gotten too far.

which is sad because OMG, Siegfried is - is JAILBAIT. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING. all of his in-game artwork has him wide-eyed and pouty-lipped and awfully slender, and it's sort of hilarious, and it's sort of awful because now i feel dirty about thinking how do-able his 16-year-old self is. XD

also: SO MUCH IVY/SIEGFRIED LOVE. ok, maybe not, because their interaction is mostly this:

IVY: *IGNOREIGNOREIGNORE* *DISMISSIVE COMMENT*
SIEGFRIED: WHY 4 U HATE :( PLZ PAY ATTENTION TO ME

but i like how this implies that Siegfried is desperately in love (or lust, but when you're 16 they get mixed up so much~~~) with Ivy and gets all sad and angry when she ignores him. :3

though Ivy meeting Siegfried (AND KNOWING HE HAS SOUL EDGE) ends up retconning her as the biggest idiot/most self-deluded woman in the world in Soulcalibur I. :(

i really wish the gameplay was more fun, though. the levels are awfully tedious and it doesn't matter WHAT i do with the Wiimote - i end up winning using both the 'flail around wildly' and 'attempt to make precise movements' methods. it makes each level feel like a chore, so only the promise of more jailbait cutscenes keep me playing.

***

and now i'll leave with this. if you are feeling bad about yourself, or where you live, take heart in this video: at least you're not in Califonia with this young woman.

guys, i did not know that the East Coast had slaves, and that the West USA Coast had vegetable trees! DID YOU?