almost done (i think)

[terabient]

so i started Chapter 12 of FFXIII tonight, as i got bored of running around doing the ten billion or so side missions in Chapter 11.

ANYWAY. i have been side-questing for so long i almost forgot how incredibly forced and emotionally predictable the main story is. this is the kind of game where the following occurs:

EVIL MASTERMIND: NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE WILL HAPPEN!!!

PARTY: U FIEND

EVIL MASTERMIND: LMAO~~~ BTW HERE'S A HANDY SHIP THAT IS A TRAP. SRSLY IT'S A TRAP DON'T THINK IT'S NOT.

PARTY: U FIEND

EVIL MASTERMIND: LOLOLOLOL *teleports away*

SOMEONE: so yeah maybe we shouldn't get on the trap u guise

SOMEONE ELSE: NUUUU WE HAVE TO!!!

SOMEONE: why it is a trap

SOMEONE ELSE: BECAUSE IT'S DESTINY MOTHERFUCKER

SOMEONE: oh okay then

And then you all get on the trap and you fly into the trap and ruin everything for everybody.

By 'you' I mean 'Snow,' of course. basically everything could have gone well but then he was a hero. a STUPID hero.

at least it leads to the shiniest, prettiest cutscene in a game full of shinies:

i like how apparently, Cocoon celebrates the inauguration of it's President/Pope hybrid with a...lightcycle race. the flag girls wearing bikini uniforms and blowing kisses to the crowd while PresidentPope GirlyBoyface gives his ~inspiring~ speech add an extra-classy touch.

anyway, since Snow is dumb and leads to the unleashing of the beasts you have to go SAVE ALL THE POOR INNOCENT PEOPLE OF EDEN. And just like every other time you encounter them they are terrified, mean-spirited and ungrateful for the most part because it's MOAR DRAMATIC that way. but you do get to see a mom and her kids cowering in a corner and this little girl is like 'wah i want my doll' and the mom's like, 'SHUT UP dolls are stupid and you are stupid for wanting one right now' and Fang's all 'Yuck, didn't want to see this' and i was like, GO FANG! because finally someone commented on HOW HORRIBLE EVERYONE IS. i mean, i understand the whole stressful situation thing but it is hard to feel sympathy for a populace that has been portrayed without a shred of dignity or gratitude (save for the opening chapter).

SO NOW. you have to go to Edenhall because that is where shit's gonna go down and you fight Gran Pulse monsters and!!! PSICOM soldiers because No One Understands You, and It's A Tragedy.

Then this happens. NGL i lol'd really hard because everybody hating on Hope is almost as good as everyone hating on Snow:

DENIED, BITCH

anyway this is as far as i got. expect more PREDICTABLY THRILLING installments soon!

this game, you guys. THIS GAME. WHY DO I PUT UP WITH IT

Comments

[kizna1200.livejournal.com]

The first cutscene loks really awesome even though I have no clue about any of the conext for it. I assume black-haired guy (is he the Cid in this one or am I getting confused?) has subtley offed previous authority bloke and the party has come to hijack something. idk :/ but the main point is tht it looks cool :D

[terabient]

it's probably better without context, haha. context just makes you go WHYYYYYY???? even more.

of course

I assume black-haired guy (is he the Cid in this one or am I getting confused?) has subtley offed previous authority bloke and the party has come to hijack something.

this is alarmingly close to what actually happens, so!

anyway, why bother with context when you can have TRANSFORMING WAR PONY???

[kuragecircus.livejournal.com]

The game is so shiny that I can forgive it for anything.

LOL AT HOPE BEING DENIED. LOL @ THE "YOU'RE GONNA DIE" "YOU FIRST!" EXCHANGE.

Odin is like the best pony ever. :3

[terabient]

lol the best part is that nobody like, says anything to assuage Hope afterwards. Snow gives him this half-hearted pat on the back and then the rest of NORA's like 'k we're outta here' and the cutscene ends, IT IS THE BEST REJECTION EVER.

ngl before chapter 12 Brynhildr was my favorite eidolon because LOL VALKYRIE RACECAR but Transformer Horse with Rose Petal Action! Odin >>>>> Firey LadyCar Brynhildr

[kuragecircus.livejournal.com]

rofl I know. XD Just complete utter ":/"-ness out of everyone. XD It's amazing.

I haven't played in a while because I still on that Barthandewhateverus' fight - is that Sazh's eidolon?

[terabient]

srsly even the other 14 year old looking NORA member doesn't want to be friends with Hope! LOSERS HATIN' ON LOSERS IT IS HILARIOUS (much more than it should be)

and yeah, Brynhildr is Sazh's eidolon. i don't use them that much cos there's no point, but totally random racecar is the crazy idea i appreciate most.

The Shiva Sister motorcycle is super creepy :|

[kuragecircus.livejournal.com]

I fucking know. X;D It's awesome.

I don't really use them much, either. Mostly because there really isn't any point XD I can kill shit with my team members just fine. I liked the cut scene after Sazh gets the car, he hops in all like "FUCK YEAH!" and then it's like he has to remember to be depressed about shit. XD

I thought they were cool until they turned into the motorcycle, because there's just a lot of shit wrong with that. X;D

[snapcakes.livejournal.com]

I didn't watch the video so the lulz would be fresh, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha I love the summary. You speak truths.

[terabient]

I can't even remember what exactly the team is going to do once they get to Edenhall. I think the game's scenario writers gave up trying to justify what you are doing and just wrote lots of dialog about not being slaves of destiny and staying true to yourself while fighting off things that loudly and articulately hate you.

Every now and then Sazh or Fang will make jokes about it and/or do something cute with frocobo/Vanille to lighten the mood, i guess. WHICH IS WHAT I LIVE FOR~