TODAY'S ADVENTURE: Going up north to pay a visit to the Tanger Outlet Mall with my sister, because she has an interview tomorrow and she wanted to buy some appropriate interview clothing.
Actually this was kind of a ~big event.~ For the past year I have been avoiding most clothing stores (and shopping in general) because it makes me really anxious, like, near-panic-attack-inducing anxiety. Basically my thoughts go like this:
"This looks like a very fashionable place."
"I am unemployed, clinically depressed and have a hard time getting out of bed these days, and I am pretty sure I look like it. ALL MY ISSUES MUST BE BLATANTLY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE."
"Fashionable places don't want crazy poor people in their store."
"Ergo, I am not wanted in this store. I can just FEEL all the salespeople judging me and fervently wishing I would leave omg why did I come in the first place? I'm not supposed to be here."
Which is silly when laid out in front of me, BUT. If I could stop thinking this way I probably wouldn't be in therapy. AND. My therapist told me I should try to do something that makes me anxious to practice techniques for reducing anxiety. So I went with my sister because she is pretty awesome and knows when I start to freak out and gently helps me to, you know, not fall apart into little pieces.
And uh, I guess it went alright! I mean. I was still on edge, and afraid of the salespeople, and the first place we went was Banana Republic and even though it was an outlet store and, well, Banana Republic, I was all oh god oh god this place is too nice for me and this salesperson was putting stuff on the racks and we kept like, bumping into each other and it was kind of weird, and I was pretty sure she was thinking GTFO every time she saw me, BUT. My sister brought me to this rack with jewel-toned shirts and was like, "Weren't you looking for something like this?" And I was. So I got lost in the joys of browsing through soft pretty jewel-toned shirts, and the scary salesperson left, and the worker at the register was super-nice and smiley. Also as we were leaving some douche left a melty cup of Starbucks product in one of the display windows, which made me feel a little better because hey, at least I wasn't That Guy.
Then when we left Banana Republic this huge Peter Pan bus pulled up and dropped off this huge group of bargain hunters. Which is like, normal for Outlet malls but I had forgotten about them and basically I felt better because it was full of, well, normal people, not impossibly fancy and snobby people. I still wasn't completely calm, but I was able to GO INTO STORES and even PURCHASE THINGS. Baby steps!
Also I discovered that Ralph Lauren is selling tie-dye polo dresses. Yes. They are as bizzarely ugly as they sound. They are also over $100. I don't know who would buy them, because seriously, where would a person go and think "Hey I'm going to need a tie-dye polo dress for this!" So weird.
Anyway, here is a meme from![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hamimi_fk:
- Comment with "Hit me!"
- I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you.
- Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
- Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people.
The questionshamimi_fk gave me:
1. Zombie apocalypse! What's your weapon of choice?
A Remington 7600 pump action rifle. A year ago I probably would have said automatic shotgun, the standard zombie slayer, but I had a talk with a friend who is a gun-nut about guns that are easy to use, and he said shotguns are simple to shoot but the recoil for most of them is strong enough that rapid-fire shooting is really painful unless you have the arm strength to handle it. Since I am always preparing for the zombie apocalypse, I asked him what gun he would recommend for a) the apocalypse and b) a person whose only gun experience was with the airsoft variety. And he was like, "A rifle."
Also rifles look cool, and you don't have to be up close to a zombie to be effective.
2. If you could write the story for a game, what's a basic idea of what you like to write?
OH GOSH. I don't know. I don't have many original story ideas. Um. I think I would start with a girl protagonist who somehow discovers the ruins of a massive underground civilization and starts exploring it, and then...stuff happens! Maybe I would write in supernatural shenanigans? It might be mysterious and fascinating, or full of horror, I don't know. I just would like to see girl protagonists and old civilizations and underground exploration.
3. Vehicle of choice (aka, favorite kind of vehicle)?
If I could drive anything in the world?
A 1997 Nissan 180SX. Preferably in blue. Was this choice influenced by Impact Blue from Initial D? Hells yes.
If you mean more generally, I really love cars, and driving, andracing people on the street at night
4. Best video game you ever played?
OH NO this is hard. But the first game that came to my mind was Phantasy Star IV. It is pretty much my ideal RPG: tons of things to explore and NPCs to speak to, world-building that is neither too vague nor too detailed, a storyline that is epic in scope but not pretentious or humorless, colorful and unique character designs (and character personalities), and a fun battle system with character-specific skills. I like character specific skills. c:
Also, it had really involved cutscenes that had been hand-drawn then pixel-fied for the Genesis. The game was supposed to be on the Sega CD and have animated cutscenes, but the Sega CD was pretty awful so they moved PSIV to the Genesis, but tried to keep the animated cutscene idea in as much as possible. The stills from PSIV's cutscenes look good even today.
It also had a side quest where you bought cake for a dog. EXCITING!
5. If a rooster lays an egg on the tip of a pointed roof, which side would the egg roll down?
I C WHUT U DID THERE! Roosters don't lay eggs.
But if they did, I bet the egg would just break on the point of the roof, and if it was a hot and sunny day, there would be fried egg for breakfast.
Actually this was kind of a ~big event.~ For the past year I have been avoiding most clothing stores (and shopping in general) because it makes me really anxious, like, near-panic-attack-inducing anxiety. Basically my thoughts go like this:
"This looks like a very fashionable place."
"I am unemployed, clinically depressed and have a hard time getting out of bed these days, and I am pretty sure I look like it. ALL MY ISSUES MUST BE BLATANTLY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE."
"Fashionable places don't want crazy poor people in their store."
"Ergo, I am not wanted in this store. I can just FEEL all the salespeople judging me and fervently wishing I would leave omg why did I come in the first place? I'm not supposed to be here."
Which is silly when laid out in front of me, BUT. If I could stop thinking this way I probably wouldn't be in therapy. AND. My therapist told me I should try to do something that makes me anxious to practice techniques for reducing anxiety. So I went with my sister because she is pretty awesome and knows when I start to freak out and gently helps me to, you know, not fall apart into little pieces.
And uh, I guess it went alright! I mean. I was still on edge, and afraid of the salespeople, and the first place we went was Banana Republic and even though it was an outlet store and, well, Banana Republic, I was all oh god oh god this place is too nice for me and this salesperson was putting stuff on the racks and we kept like, bumping into each other and it was kind of weird, and I was pretty sure she was thinking GTFO every time she saw me, BUT. My sister brought me to this rack with jewel-toned shirts and was like, "Weren't you looking for something like this?" And I was. So I got lost in the joys of browsing through soft pretty jewel-toned shirts, and the scary salesperson left, and the worker at the register was super-nice and smiley. Also as we were leaving some douche left a melty cup of Starbucks product in one of the display windows, which made me feel a little better because hey, at least I wasn't That Guy.
Then when we left Banana Republic this huge Peter Pan bus pulled up and dropped off this huge group of bargain hunters. Which is like, normal for Outlet malls but I had forgotten about them and basically I felt better because it was full of, well, normal people, not impossibly fancy and snobby people. I still wasn't completely calm, but I was able to GO INTO STORES and even PURCHASE THINGS. Baby steps!
Also I discovered that Ralph Lauren is selling tie-dye polo dresses. Yes. They are as bizzarely ugly as they sound. They are also over $100. I don't know who would buy them, because seriously, where would a person go and think "Hey I'm going to need a tie-dye polo dress for this!" So weird.
Anyway, here is a meme from
hamimi_fk:- Comment with "Hit me!"
- I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you.
- Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
- Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people.
The questions
hamimi_fk gave me:1. Zombie apocalypse! What's your weapon of choice?
A Remington 7600 pump action rifle. A year ago I probably would have said automatic shotgun, the standard zombie slayer, but I had a talk with a friend who is a gun-nut about guns that are easy to use, and he said shotguns are simple to shoot but the recoil for most of them is strong enough that rapid-fire shooting is really painful unless you have the arm strength to handle it. Since I am always preparing for the zombie apocalypse, I asked him what gun he would recommend for a) the apocalypse and b) a person whose only gun experience was with the airsoft variety. And he was like, "A rifle."
Also rifles look cool, and you don't have to be up close to a zombie to be effective.
2. If you could write the story for a game, what's a basic idea of what you like to write?
OH GOSH. I don't know. I don't have many original story ideas. Um. I think I would start with a girl protagonist who somehow discovers the ruins of a massive underground civilization and starts exploring it, and then...stuff happens! Maybe I would write in supernatural shenanigans? It might be mysterious and fascinating, or full of horror, I don't know. I just would like to see girl protagonists and old civilizations and underground exploration.
3. Vehicle of choice (aka, favorite kind of vehicle)?
If I could drive anything in the world?
A 1997 Nissan 180SX. Preferably in blue. Was this choice influenced by Impact Blue from Initial D? Hells yes.
If you mean more generally, I really love cars, and driving, and
4. Best video game you ever played?
OH NO this is hard. But the first game that came to my mind was Phantasy Star IV. It is pretty much my ideal RPG: tons of things to explore and NPCs to speak to, world-building that is neither too vague nor too detailed, a storyline that is epic in scope but not pretentious or humorless, colorful and unique character designs (and character personalities), and a fun battle system with character-specific skills. I like character specific skills. c:
Also, it had really involved cutscenes that had been hand-drawn then pixel-fied for the Genesis. The game was supposed to be on the Sega CD and have animated cutscenes, but the Sega CD was pretty awful so they moved PSIV to the Genesis, but tried to keep the animated cutscene idea in as much as possible. The stills from PSIV's cutscenes look good even today.
It also had a side quest where you bought cake for a dog. EXCITING!
5. If a rooster lays an egg on the tip of a pointed roof, which side would the egg roll down?
I C WHUT U DID THERE! Roosters don't lay eggs.
But if they did, I bet the egg would just break on the point of the roof, and if it was a hot and sunny day, there would be fried egg for breakfast.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 10:39 am (UTC)From:...tye-dye anything for over $100 is kind of. Uh. ...of course, I thing $50 for anything for most things is too much. Maybe $30 for some pants if they're really nice. Maybe. (Unless of course things are leather! But that's different.) *is basically really really cheap*
I would like to do meme too! "Hit me!"
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 03:10 am (UTC)From:MEME TIME!
1. What is your dream Pokemon team?
2. How would you decorate your room (or house) if you had unlimited money/space/time/etc.?
3. If you could give a million dollars to any person or any group, who would it be?
4. What is something you used to love, but don't care about any more?
5. What is your favorite Youtube video?
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 07:46 am (UTC)From:Okay! I will post them tonight! :D
no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 03:17 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 03:32 am (UTC)From:1. What is the best thing you've ever eaten? The worst?
2. If you could make one mythical or extinct animal real, which one would it be?
3. What anime would you recommend to a person who isn't familiar with the genre?
4. What is your favorite song currently?
5. Cake or pie?
no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 03:35 pm (UTC)From:And... hit me!
(No rush though as I don't know what sort of questions I'd ask people who were to do the same meme!)
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 03:56 am (UTC)From:And maybe you could stun a zombie with the shotgun...or by throwing rabbits at its face. ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. :P
Meme time!
1. What's the first thing you would do if you suddenly received a lot of money?
2. In the event of a zombie outbreak, what is your initial plan of action?
3. What writing cliché annoys you the most?
4. Is there any tv show, movie, book, or game that you initially hated, but came to enjoy?
5. Favorite dessert?
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 12:37 am (UTC)From:#4 makes me want to play Shadow Hearts: Covenant. :<
I want questions.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 04:48 am (UTC)From:QUESTION TIME~
1. You are able to punch one person in the face without negative consequence. WHO SUFFERS YOUR WRATH?
2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
3. What animal, real or not, domesticated or wild, would you love as a pet?
4. Favorite kind of cupcake, OR a cupcake that you would love to try?
5. What are your thoughts on yaoi? (Look, it had to be done. ^o^; )
DEAR JANE
Date: 2011-06-24 06:58 am (UTC)From:And I was thinking about it the last time we were rambling at each other about some video game or other, and like, maybe we should just make a quiet journal somewhere, post whatever the fuck comes to mind about games and stuff, ramble at each other some more in the comments, then smoosh it together with a little bit of cleanup and post it as a conversation. I mean with a name like Keyboard Smash it seems fitting to just throw gobs of collective mind juice at it, because srsly what would it hurt. It wouldn't even rly need to be a particular length.
Just an idea, idk if you'll like it/care but it would fill white space for our amusement maybe?
Re: DEAR JANE
Date: 2011-06-24 10:06 pm (UTC)From:And even if we don't end up making it all nice and pretty for Keyboard Smash we'll have a place to nerd out privately.
Basically I agree with you and we should try it, is what I'm saying.
Re: DEAR JANE
Date: 2011-06-25 09:54 am (UTC)From:ME TOO!!!! 8Db I think it'd be great to not even bother thinking about blog-specific shit like worrying about length or relevance or whatever and just tap into our excellent life skill of talking about whateverthefuck with each other, then maybe serve it as brain soup. And if it just stays there by itself, yes! Random nerdery ftw!
And anyway hipster fuckery of people who interweb speak the way we do and ramble semi-aimlessly is so hot right now, we can always blame the zeitgeist.
Re: DEAR JANE
Date: 2011-06-25 09:57 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-06-21 02:49 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-06-24 03:58 am (UTC)From:But, I've gotten a little better at recognizing and challenging those thoughts. I'm not that successful yet, hey, progress is progress.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 08:07 am (UTC)From:And I totally approve your choice of car. :Db For the longest time, I wanted a Lancer Evolution, like, imported from Japan, not the Mitsubishi Lancers you can get here. Alas, I never got one, but I can still dream! And zip around town in my little Honda. :3
no subject
Date: 2011-06-24 04:04 am (UTC)From:FUCK YEAH JAPANESE CARS \o/ I have a Nissan Altima which is kind of like, a mid-level salary man car, but IDK it's fast and comfortable for that kind of car. I just wish it was a little smaller.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-22 11:11 pm (UTC)From:I wouldn't say no to an assault rifle though! Guy from a forced military service country suggested the Rk 62. It looks like fun but cleaning all the sand from it is a chore.
Oh, and HIT ME :D
no subject
Date: 2011-06-24 04:37 am (UTC)From:MEME TIME!
1. What's your most memorable game moment?
2. The best, or most interesting, class you've taken?
3. Obligatory zombie apocalypse question!: Where is the first place you'd go for safety? Or would you just stay put?
4. If you could master one kind of art medium, what would it be? (pastels, charcoal, oil painting, etc.)
5. Who is the first fictional character you 'cared' about? Who is your favorite fictional character now?