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SCIV fanbook, and the fortune cookie game retooled for fanfic (also, whores)
a collective of Japanese fanartists is putting out a Soulcalibur illustration book:
http://now-printing.com/sc4/
only the cover and a few sample pics are available for perusal right now. most of them are borderline-softcore porn, (belated warning: the cover is basically an Amy-upskirt shot - she's got shorts underneath, but still) but there are some less-risque action-pose pics too.
there's also an intriguing pic of what looks like a female version of Nightmare.
it looks like it will be released on the 31st. there's no way to put in a preorder, and while there's no shipping information that i can find, i doubt they'd ship outside Japan - though third-party sites like Rinka might be able to deliver it eventually.
might be worth keeping an eye on, if you have the means to get it.
***
i lol'ed about this in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
capslock_ff already, but this is so awesomely bad it needs to be shared MOAR. in the FFX section of ff.net there is this mind-boggling summary:
'"What are you? My forty year old stalker?" "I resent that," He answered offended before mumbling his next line. "I'm only thirty-five." A modern day aurikku/sub coupling tuna'
SUB COUPLING TUNA
you don't even need to play the game to know something is terribly wrong here.
ANYWAY. in response, somebody posted an even more lollerskatin' summary from aff.net:
"BEING A WHORE ALL HIS LIFE, RENO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE."
"BEING A WHORE ALL HIS LIFE." ppppffffffftttt OP also made the EXCELLENT observation that all fanfic summaries would be improved immeasurably if they started with 'being a whore all his/her life.' it's like adding '...in bed!' to the end of a fortune cookie, but with 100x more lulz!
NATURALLY i had to try this with the SC section.
the results are mixed. some (a lot, actually ;_; ) just don't lend themselves to whorishness. DISAPPOINTING I KNOW.
then there are a few that work *pretty well* if you take out the original dependent clause:
Being a whore all her life, Tira now journeys to Athens to right a past wrong. However, Soul edge has returned stronger than ever, and in the hands of another wielder......
Being a whore all my life, My friends and I are accidentally taken to the world of Soul Calibur. After acquiring weapons, we fight everyone on the Characters list, eliminating those who are bad. Will we get home in time before we are missed?
Being a whore all his life, Raphael Sorel must continue living life as a man of honour.
...but this is kinda cheating - there's toooooo much editing involved. luckily, some summaries are set up just right, and you have pure fried gold:
Being whores all their lives, Talim and Kilik has received a letter about a contest from an unknown adresser. They both decides to join, but what will happen? Talim x Kilik staring other SC characters.
Being a whore all my life, I'm bad when it comes to summaries.... All I can say was that it's based on Soul Calibur: 3.
Being a whore all her life, Siegfried's disappearance has haunted her ever since. Unable to forgive herself for choosing not to purue him, she embarks on a quest to be re-united with her beloved...
Being a whore all her life, Sophita has a great life; two young children, a loving husband... What will happen when Nightmare takes everything away from her?
Being whores all their lives, Twenty-Four complete morons vie for possession of the sacred and cursed swords. Which of your favorite Soul Calibur characters will stand victorious in the end?
Being whores all their lives, Once again, Talim, Link, Cassandra,Yunsung, Sophitia, Kilik, and Raphael are messing things up.
OMFG on that last one, AMIRITE? XD
and this is only the second page. suddenly, browsing ff.net is thrilling!
ending with some self-inflicted whoring:
Being whores all their lives, Siegfried and Hilde share a meal, and a secret.
BRB, WRITING THIS MUCH MORE AWESOME FIC.
http://now-printing.com/sc4/
only the cover and a few sample pics are available for perusal right now. most of them are borderline-softcore porn, (belated warning: the cover is basically an Amy-upskirt shot - she's got shorts underneath, but still) but there are some less-risque action-pose pics too.
there's also an intriguing pic of what looks like a female version of Nightmare.
it looks like it will be released on the 31st. there's no way to put in a preorder, and while there's no shipping information that i can find, i doubt they'd ship outside Japan - though third-party sites like Rinka might be able to deliver it eventually.
might be worth keeping an eye on, if you have the means to get it.
i lol'ed about this in
capslock_ff already, but this is so awesomely bad it needs to be shared MOAR. in the FFX section of ff.net there is this mind-boggling summary:'"What are you? My forty year old stalker?" "I resent that," He answered offended before mumbling his next line. "I'm only thirty-five." A modern day aurikku/sub coupling tuna'
SUB COUPLING TUNA
you don't even need to play the game to know something is terribly wrong here.
ANYWAY. in response, somebody posted an even more lollerskatin' summary from aff.net:
"BEING A WHORE ALL HIS LIFE, RENO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE."
"BEING A WHORE ALL HIS LIFE." ppppffffffftttt OP also made the EXCELLENT observation that all fanfic summaries would be improved immeasurably if they started with 'being a whore all his/her life.' it's like adding '...in bed!' to the end of a fortune cookie, but with 100x more lulz!
NATURALLY i had to try this with the SC section.
the results are mixed. some (a lot, actually ;_; ) just don't lend themselves to whorishness. DISAPPOINTING I KNOW.
then there are a few that work *pretty well* if you take out the original dependent clause:
Being a whore all her life, Tira now journeys to Athens to right a past wrong. However, Soul edge has returned stronger than ever, and in the hands of another wielder......
Being a whore all my life, My friends and I are accidentally taken to the world of Soul Calibur. After acquiring weapons, we fight everyone on the Characters list, eliminating those who are bad. Will we get home in time before we are missed?
Being a whore all his life, Raphael Sorel must continue living life as a man of honour.
...but this is kinda cheating - there's toooooo much editing involved. luckily, some summaries are set up just right, and you have pure fried gold:
Being whores all their lives, Talim and Kilik has received a letter about a contest from an unknown adresser. They both decides to join, but what will happen? Talim x Kilik staring other SC characters.
Being a whore all my life, I'm bad when it comes to summaries.... All I can say was that it's based on Soul Calibur: 3.
Being a whore all her life, Siegfried's disappearance has haunted her ever since. Unable to forgive herself for choosing not to purue him, she embarks on a quest to be re-united with her beloved...
Being a whore all her life, Sophita has a great life; two young children, a loving husband... What will happen when Nightmare takes everything away from her?
Being whores all their lives, Twenty-Four complete morons vie for possession of the sacred and cursed swords. Which of your favorite Soul Calibur characters will stand victorious in the end?
Being whores all their lives, Once again, Talim, Link, Cassandra,Yunsung, Sophitia, Kilik, and Raphael are messing things up.
OMFG on that last one, AMIRITE? XD
and this is only the second page. suddenly, browsing ff.net is thrilling!
ending with some self-inflicted whoring:
Being whores all their lives, Siegfried and Hilde share a meal, and a secret.
BRB, WRITING THIS MUCH MORE AWESOME FIC.