terabient

a sad gay fanon PSO2 timeline

2024-09-01T17:39:00Z

Been thinking about Casra I and Casra II's history a lot lately. The absence of canonical appearances Casra I and sparse statements regarding both characters in-game and in supplemental material means there's a LOT of room to ~go wild~ with speculation and headcanons, and making up stuff based on a few lines of text is my #1 favorite thing to do in fandom! So here’s is my personal timeline for pre-PSO2 Lucasra. please clap

Warnings: underage relationship, psychological manipulation, Luther at his absolute worst

( Timeline from Casra II’s conception to AP 220 )

Many thanks if you made it this far! But also: SORRY, I can’t stop yelling about these two (individually AND together) so here’s some Additional Thoughts on pre-PSO2 Lucasra that don’t fit neatly into the timeline format:

Since the successors of the Three Heroes take on their predecessor’s name...it’s possible that Casra II has a different birth name. At the same time, I can absolutely see Casra I and Luther having zero originality and just name him Casra II anyway, especially since his “purpose” is set and I doubt Casra II was known to anyone outside Void Apparatus before his placement on the Council (meaning there’s no need to hide the fact that he’s intended to be Casra I’s successor). Also I just find it hard to refer to Casra II as anything besides Casra, lol.

Thematically, I think of Lucasra as a bleak inversion/corruption of Luther’s relationship with Hariette. In EP5 Luther understands he has a duty to raise and care for Hariette, and is actually capable of choosing her safety at the cost of his own. Oracle Luther has completely lost these qualities and can only see people as tools to be used. At most he views his creations as extensions of himself or symbols of his brilliance—not individuals with their own wills. So whenever there’s a question on how Luther would treat Casra in a given situation I think “well the exact opposite of how he would treat Hariette.” Gotta live up to the “Fallen” and “Loser” titles, after all.

I had some thoughts about Luther taking an interest in Casra’s Draconian research because it potentially offers an alternate path to omniscience through “completing” Terr’yiotr or Kasheena, but it’s not something I’ve fully fleshed out yet. 🫠

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fanfic: your eyes close as I fall asleep [PSO2]

2024-05-28T03:55:33Z

Title: your eyes close as I fall asleep
Fandom: Phantasy Star Online 2
Characters: Casra, Luther; Luther/Casra
Rating: M
Words: 1,828
Summary: On the anniversary of the sealing of the Profound Darkness, a despondent Luther reveals his plans for Casra's future. Casra bears this revelation as best he can.
Notes: Takes place during EP2, after Casra's made his pact with Quna.

( You have the means to discover any secret of the universe you desire...what is this fixation on entering the heart of the Mothership? )

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Bluesky...stuff

2024-05-13T02:21:21Z

Bluesky, one of the million twitter clones that popped up after the elon musk buyout, removed their invitation sign-up requirement, so naturally i signed up because trying out new social media sites while being intensely asocial is one of my hobbies now. it's alright i guess; i'm mostly lurking for the most part.

you can also embed bsky posts so i figured why not make a lil' post of Fun Things I Have Found There?

I found out legendary weirdposter of very Old Twitter utilitylimb is back, transitioned, married, and part of a 3 person indie game studio putting out an rpg where you can fuck bears and a whole bunch of other, more abstract entities? I think that's what it's about.

gently setting expectations so no one gets surprised that our game is about a bunch of transsexual misfits doing murders in a wasteland. if you thought it was weird to fuck the bear in bg3 our paths must diverge here.
— nattie winters (utilitylimb) May 8, 2024 at 4:17 PM

anyways great to know they're having a good time!

PSO2 stuff:

Artist Noise (who I vaguely remember meeting once when NPC meetups were still A Thing) had an art request thread and drew my current hyperfixation Varuna ^_^ He is very adorable and has little hearts in his eyes! I love it ♥

Here he is! owo~~
Thank you for requesting Varuna and for joining this event! ♪(´▽｀)

[image or embed]
— Noise💜🖊 (noisebun) Apr 27, 2024 at 4:54 PM

on the other end of the fanart spectrum, i finally got the guts to commission some pin-up style artwork of my husbando from the lovely ThanatosRequiem, who does incredibly hot art of androgynous elfin characters; if you're looking for an artist i HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Varuna for janejana Thank you for allowing the opportunity to draw this character! 👉👈

#art #digitalart #pso2 #varuna

[image or embed]
— Thanatos 🌹 (thanatosrequiem) Apr 26, 2024 at 9:06 PM

that's all for now. ~~i have decided to leave "best skeets about the kendrick/drake beef" for another entry~~

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MAID DAY 2024

2024-05-11T03:12:23Z

May 10th is メイドの日 / Maid Day so I ~~pressured~~ asked some friends to join me for ~cute maid screenshots~

( Cuento Royal Maid Service (+12 images) )

( Credits )

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[Screenshots] Winter Excursion

2024-01-29T00:58:46Z

Varuna coaxes Luther out of Cuento Castle to spend a relaxing afternoon in the snow. ❄️ 💞

made with nex3's grid generator

Your browser does not support the video tag.

snowball fight!!!

Credits

Luther, video capture, screenshots: zetchi
Varuna, screenshots: terabient

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[RP log] A New Future (Varuna/Casra)

2024-01-22T03:05:38Z

A short piece that takes place in a post-Episode 6 setting that I've talked about previously here, where Varuna is sent to Oracle on Hariette's request in order to help establish a permanent connection to Omega, and Casra is designated as a handler of sorts given Varuna's previous status as a dangerous enemy. ~~and then they fall in love, of course huhuhuhu~~

---

After investigating a convergence of Falspawn in the Naverius forests and coming to an unpleasant conclusion as to its cause, Casra and Varuna return to the Gateship and discuss more personal matters...

( Read more... )

( Credits )

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book log 010: Golden Wings & Hairy Toes

2024-01-16T16:05:57Z

title: Golden Wings & Hairy Toes, Todd McLeish

started: 6/??/23

ended: 1/15/24

thoughts: A thorough overview of fourteen endangered species in New England, this book goes into great detail on the history and behavior of each species, the conservation efforts being taken to preserve the species and the challenges they face, and a prediction on how they may fare in the future. (For reference, this was published in 2007, and with the exception of one case I don't know how badly the climate change in the past 17 years has affected the species in this book.)

It's a great book for lovers of Cool Animal Facts (and plant and bug facts), though I did find the highly detailed passages regarding trapping and tagging a bit dry and repetitive (there's not too many ways to tag birds or fish). I did come away with some ~NEW FAVORITE CREATURES~ after reading, which I will gush about below.

Sandplain Gerardia: A wildflower that grows in transitional grasslands that grow in the aftermath of wildfires; with wildfires and their destructive impact greatly reduced in the past century, the Sandplain Gerardia is mostly confined to historic cemeteries where constant mowing creates the clear and sunny landscape they need to survive. This also keeps them safe from being trampled, as they're very small and delicate.

American Burying Beetle: The largest carrion beetle in New England, its preferred carcass for reproduction is something around the size and weight of the long-extinct passenger pigeon. While they don't specifically need a passenger pigeon carcass they don't choose anything smaller, and suburban sprawl has made carrion in general much less available. Conservationists pretty much just scatter quail chick carcasses for the beetles to use.

Also a beetle pair can bury a carcass in a single night! Apparently they just get under the carcass and dig down and by the time the sun comes up they're several feet underground. They'll also carry a carcass if the soil's not suitable for breeding--they have to go very deep to keep ants and flies from finding it. :o

Karner Blue Butterfly: A tiny blue butterfly that can only reproduce in areas with abundant wild lupine, a flower that primarily grows in pine barrens--another transitional habitat dependent on relatively frequent wildfires. In addition to only reproducing on a single flower species, the Karner Blue butterfly only lives for a few weeks and can't fly very far in that period, so it's extremely difficult for them to discover new areas to reproduce.

The area of conservation for the Karner Blue is within driving distance for me and open to the public--it's been so successful that the conservationists have stopped breeding the butterflies in captivity and moved on to other endangered species of butterflies and moths. I also got to see why Karner Blue butterflies don't travel very far: they are atrocious fliers. Like, I've seen puffins fly, and it's clear those little chunky birds need to work very hard to just get off the ground but the Karner Blues are so...helpless? Like they don't know how their wings work?? They fly in little messy circles for a full minute just to reach a flower a foot away. One landed on me (yes, very magical) and I had to wait almost 10 minutes for it to find its way somewhere else--I tried walking away from it to help it out, but that just seemed to make it harder for the poor lil' guy. Anyway I love these itty bitty butterflies that don't know how to use their wings, really hope they continue to thrive in the dollop of pine barren habitat behind the local airport.

quotes that I remembered for reasons unknown: "One lynx in particular, L18, was caught regularly, and it may have learned that the trap contained a free meal with only the minor inconvenience of being enclosed for a short time."

"Natural history essayist Stephen Jay Gould referred to Nabakov as a scientific "stick-in-the-mud," in part for dismissing the idea that genetics could be used to distinguish among insect species. Instead, Nabakov relied on the microscopic comparison of butterfly genitalia to identify species, which was the more traditional method at the time."

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new year's goals

2023-12-28T21:58:04Z

i'm very behind on:

1. Posting screenshots with friends

2. Doing work on the PSO2 archive project

3. Being the weird kind of horny on main

Gotta step it up once 2024 rolls in

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Phashion as praxis

2023-12-08T03:07:44Z

A big old messy Casruna...headcanon? Musing? Thoughts on how they’d interact in specific scenarios? This is basically a rambling conversation I have with myself every now and then, as I try to work through a zillion AU fics that will never be finished.

( fashion is endgame )

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inescapable

2023-12-05T03:09:51Z

Work has been long and grueling these past two months and it has completely ground away my ability to do basically everything I was hoping to do with regards to fandom besides, idk, grind video games. it's not exactly what i want to do but it's what i have the energy for in the 3 hours I have to myself in the evening (I have been pushing back my "healthy" 9PM bed time to have more time to do things i enjoy. this has not been working out at all.)

trying to get back into things like just writing a sentence in a WIP, scanning a single page for the archive project...but it's not very satisfying. i want to finish something and have people be excited about it. i want to write my self-indulgent crackship slash b/c no one else will. instead i open up a document and stare at it for 40 minutes while my head fills with white noise and anger at the collapsing institutions of public education and health care and then i close the doc and go to bed. i don't really know if things will get any better. they probably won't.

well. 3 weeks until Christmas vacation. hopefully one of the weekends will be mostly free from holiday-related errands and planning. but if not at least i'll have that week of no obligations. that'll be nice.

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predictable ends

2023-11-01T01:37:36Z

I finished one thing I intended to finish but I hate it so much in its current state that I can't bring myself to post it. RIP in pieces me

Consoling myself with the fact that I can just, you know, keep working on things through the rest of the year, or however long it takes to ~~lose interest~~ finish. I don't have to abandon writing something just because I didn't finish it in an arbitrary period of time, or hate the first (or second or third) draft of a particular bit.

I also work fewer days this month, which theoretically should help with the whole "too tired to think creatively" problem I've been experiencing, but I also host Thanksgiving now so...I'm already going to have to earmark a lot of that time for prepping the house for guests. so idk maybe nothing will be done in November either.

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alt-fashion indecision

2023-10-22T06:29:21Z

I’m attending a small anime convention next weekend, which has some lolita/jfashion/alt-fashion events and panels that I’ll be checking out. I’m pretty satisfied with the gothic lolita coordinate/coord that I’ve tinkered with for a few years, so lately I’ve been thinking of getting a new JSK or skirt and work on a new style for next year’s cons. ^^

Under the cut are some of the outfits I’m considering. Only going to get one, but I’m feeling pretty good about all of these options.

( long-winded lolita fashion discussion )

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stress

2023-10-21T05:29:14Z

since i never actually said what i was doing for October writing-wise, here's my plan: write at least a scene for as many previously mentioned story concepts as i can, and at the end of the month, post them even if i loathe it. (This is because I always loathe my own writing and will decide not to share anything with anyone, so y'know, trying to get over that.) Since i don't really have the motivation to finish things i figured "at least i can finish scenes, right?"

Turns out the answer is "maybe, probably not tho" at least for now. I'm also not sure when I'll be able to squeeze in more writing time in the days remaining this month, so it's quite possible things will end as they did last October, with nothing to show. :')

( vague venting )

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[RP/microfic] Luisa Lake Excursion, extended (Luther/Varuna)

2023-10-16T01:47:27Z

Lake Luisa is rarely placid. The constant breeze churns the crystal clear waters into rolling waves and carries a damp chill that cuts to the bone, a chill even the heat of the afternoon sun cannot burn away.

When Luther traps Varuna at the edge of wood and shore, he supposes the setting suits them well enough.

( An afternoon by the lake )

( credits )

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(fanmix) Music Monday: Red Velvet, One of these Nights

2023-10-09T18:29:04Z

I know it's common to associate songs with characters and ships but I've not done that personally for a long time. A lot of it comes down to the fact that my musical tastes tend towards light and cheerful dance pop while my fictional preferences are sad gay morally grey pretty boys getting in terrible relationships, which isn't the most natural fit for fanmix things.

BUT!!! yesterday I was listening to a kpop ballad, Red Velvet's One of these Nights and when it got to this verse I screamed internally because OMG IT'S LUTHERUNA. THESE ARE THE FEELINGS THIS SHIP IS MEANT TO EVOKE!! An all too brief moment of joy in incalculably long lives, the significance of which is not fully grasped until long after is it gone... 😭 I had a moment for sure.

In the same time span, just for a minute
In the same space, stay for a minute
In that short moment, everything
Stops for us, in that moment
Why did we not know that was a miracle?

( Full lyrics + music video under the cut, along with some song history, if you would like to wallow in the feels with me :') )

I've wanted to do some general character/pairing analysis lately--to go over the emotions, conflicts, and themes I see as central to understanding them--so idk maybe you'll see some more "image songs" posted about my faves while I plug away at kinkfic. or not! i really shouldn't keep making work for myself like this ;p

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Music Monday: Banda Magda/Magda Giannikou - Amour t'es la?

2023-09-26T01:42:30Z

Worked pretty late today, so this #musicmonday entry will be pretty short and has nothing to do with the Asian pop scene for once.

Magda Giannikou is a Grecian tv and film composer who pivoted to performance after 1. Discovering her grandmother's accordion, and 2. Finding she had a knack for writing lyrics...in French. Her debut song, Amour, T'es là? / Love, where are you? is a buoyant, playful tune showcasing a remarkable mix of disparate musical influences--bossa nova, French pop, Greek folk, and a lot of accordion.

She also performed this song live with Snarky Puppy, a popular and prolific jazz fusion band. It's an excellent performance all around--worth listening to even if you're not all that into accordions. :p

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AU October: The new age

2023-09-26T00:33:17Z

Not actually an AU this time--it's an "after EP6" idea, one that serves as the set up for an eventual "Varuna & Hariette on Halpha" fic ~~and also my crackship you're welcome :)~~

( 'I will let my actions speak to my devotion:' Repentance )

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AU October: The Last Photoner God

2023-09-23T23:18:41Z

A more developed summary of the "Varuna on Oracle" AU I've talked about here and there. It's also the setting for the frankly insane Luther/Varuna/Casra OT3 idea that still relentlessly haunts my brain, but I don't really get into that part here. :P

( Varuna, the Faithless )

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AU October: Cuento's Reluctant Prince

2023-09-22T01:55:43Z

getting started early on the costume swap ideas 👀

9/23 edit: Some elaboration on the concept, and formatting changes

( Prince Regent Varuna La Shiec )

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Music Monday: melody.

2023-09-19T01:26:52Z

For today's Music Monday, I'll reminisce about a jpop idol who debuted to wild success, released a string of equally successful albums, and ended her career because....well, I'll get into that later.

Melody Ishikawa, better known by her stylized stage name melody., is a Japanese-American singer born in Hawaii. Discovered by one of Japan's most successful record producers while she was in high school, Melody completed her education before moving to Japan at 19 to pursue a singing career. After being attached to several girl group projects that fizzled out, melody. eventually debuted a solo artist and saw immediate success. Her first album, Sincerely, had four singles peak in the top 40 of the Oricon charts. melody.'s songs feature an effortless mix of Japanese and English lyrics, and a joyful, upbeat dance-pop sound.

My personal favorites from Sincerely are So Into You, and a dance-pop cover of Over The Rainbow. As my college radio show was scheduled for Tuesday and Friday evenings, I liked to end with one of these infectiously cheerful tracks during the long winter months--it felt like a way to give a bit of brightness to whoever might be wandering the campus during broadcast hours. ♥

The following years saw melody. release two more albums, Be as One and READY TO GO!, and her most successful single, Realize, which was also the theme song for j-drama Dragon Zakura.

In 2008 melody. released her final studio album, Lei Aloha. Meant to be a reflection of melody.'s life in Hawaii as a child, the songs on Lei Aloha tend towards softer ballads with understated string and piano arrangements. The sole single, Haruka ~Haruka~ was the ending theme song for Daisuki!!, a tender j-drama about a severely disabled woman trying to raise a child after the death of her husband.

After Lei Aloha melody. abruptly retired from the music business, citing a desire to work in fashion design. However, a year later, she announced her marriage to guitarist Miyavi, which is likely the real motivation for her sudden exit.

Of course, it's not uncommon for Asian pop idols to retire when their marriage becomes public but it always hurts to see a successful female performer to completely stop releasing new material. OTOH....Melody did marry perhaps the greatest Japanese guitarist of all time and a global rock icon so you know what? Get it, girl.

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bleeeeehhhhh

2023-09-07T01:50:31Z

i'm only 2 days into working as a medical bus monitor and man. i don't know if i can do this for 180 days...

waking up early is the bane of my existence. and since it's the beginning of the year, i am spending a lot of time after work helping to coordinate services for students over the phone, plus making dinner, and it feels like i've done nothing but work and sleep. i basically quit working in long-term care facilities so i wouldn't have to work this way but here i am, 3 years later, still working this way.

hoping that the afternoon bus route runs a bit smoother after this week but waking up at 5AM is permanent. siiiiiiiiiiigh

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just a little guy

2023-09-03T05:21:48Z

Visited a cedar swamp with my sister this week. Not too much in the way of wildlife but we did see this chipmunk being very chipmunk-like near the trail.

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a maid cafe in space currently run by dead people

2023-08-30T16:43:20Z

When I visited my brother in Vermont this month, I did something to my foot that made it rather painful but not impossible to put weight on it, so I've spent the rest of this month feeling sorry for myself, scanning things and playing video games mostly solo because i'm surly when i'm ~recuperating~

anyway here's some phantasy star stuff i've been meaning to post.

first, this Glen/Crawford fanart (DW won't display tweet images, but the link itself should work even with the Twitter anon block going on)~ not deeply interested on any NGS stuff but cute boys are cute

以前やっといたの線画の範囲別けがんばるわよ。 pic.twitter.com/nqZnuccq5r
— おおつのけい (@Valac_Kei) August 15, 2023

Aaaand a bunch of Shivaruna screenshots I've taken while working on my Creative Space. Earlier I was trying to make a cohesive, area-wide theme and gave up on it b/c doing anything, large-scale or not, is a PITA with the current toolset. Working on little scenes that can act as screenshot settings has been just as time-consuming but at least i get cute SS ideas out of it.

I've also been thinking about Shiva and her relationship to Varuna and Mitra, in the context that she knows the universe is in a timeloop and that her lack of emotion towards her loyal subjects is probably a reaction to seeing them willingly die for her in every timeline while she can never save them or herself :') Anyway that's why I'm making an island where they can do things like run a maid cafe <3

1-2: Bunny Day 👯

3-5: Night-time beach date 🌙

6-8: Mothership Shiva Cafe 🍰

made with nex3's grid generator

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please dress up in my favorite character's outfits, thank you

2023-08-22T20:45:52Z

so one of the kinktober nonsexual prompts is clothes swapping/sharing, and I do like costume swap stuff especially in video games where costume design is such a prominent aspect of characterization.

would love to do something like, a series of role reversal AUs or post-EP6 vignettes with Varuna + other NPCs...I am still not sure what I want to make for kinktober but I think something like this would be fun to do and also ~~low effort~~ simple enough to do alongside actual fic writing.

(This is also an indirect way to tell u, pso2 friends, that i may ask about screenshot collaborations or RP over Discord in the next few days ;)

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the real obstacle to writing more is Overwatch being fun again

2023-08-20T15:12:30Z

Okay, that's a lie. The obstacle to writing more is mental illness, but u know. Overwatch being a Good Time again makes it very easy to pick playing it for hours, instead of spending any time related to fic, RIP

I've lost the ability to write actual journal entries so here's just a list of Feelings I Have About Overwatch:

- The new hero Illari has a special jump/gtfo move and the animation is like, a ballerina spin?! It's so cute?! Really most things about Illari are cute, and they also gave her a very grimdark background story which gives her some of the most powerful gap-moe in all of Overwatch, even more powerful than giving Bastion a bird friend.

- I am not really sure how address how the origin stories continue to be "White People's Concept of Cultural Diversity" except that, well, it's still a thing and will likely always be a thing. Amid all the cringe there are still many lovely and enjoyable things to be found with these characters so I'll continue to hyper fixate on this game.

- Blizzard did, in fact, give Lifeweaver a "flirtatious" line with Baptiste which is great thank you i was shipping them already but it's nice for Blizzard to let everyone know that my shipping preferences are the right ones.

- i used to have a complex about playing Overwatch for years and "only" being in Platinum. Now that I'm playing in a dependable group of 4 I am...in Silver, lmao. Still it's better than queuing alone because the last time I tried to make a call out in ranked I was told I was a dumb bitch and should kill myself. (This person then died to the flanker I called out, so thanks, opposing team!) In comparison a 40% winrate is not so bad.

- This Ana costume rules but it's also a battlepass exclusive and i don't want to pay ten whole-ass dollars just to get it (and unlock Illari earlier) There is also robot Symmetra but they didn't give that costume any description BOOOOOOOOOOO

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